Risley Standard Heritage Dictionary and Risley Resident's Glossary of Self-Referential Adjectives

Former originally compiled by Gar Francis in 1988 and revised in 1990 by Matthew Belmonte.

Latter researched in 1986 by a Bunch of People Who Weren't Particularly Busy One Thursday Night, and

compiled and edited by the Megadodo Publishing Branch of Room 460.

Version X+1.0 resurrected, alphabetized, and combined by Nessie Van Loan in 1996 and last edited on the web  on Whensdae, 28 July 1999 at 1:14:17PM est.

©opyright 1997 Prudence Risley Residential College for the Creative and Performing Arts

AmphibiRisleyite n. someone who regularly attends Pool. Those who go to Pool when it is snowing and ten below outside are called AmphibiFrigiRisleyites, and those who attend during Ithaca's frequent rainstorms are AmphibiDrizzliRisleyites.

Artist in Residence n. see guest suite artist.

associate member n. someone who has paid a small fee to use one and only one shop. They are never residents, and are usually Risleyists.

bat-phone, the proper n. the campus phone emblazoned with the bat-signal, located in the alcove immediately to the right and west of the main entranceway.  Proper etiquette dictates that one answer the bat-phone with the phrase: "Yes, Commissioner?" (note: the bat-phone no longer seems to accept incoming calls, but try anyways: (607) 255-5515.)

boff v. to fight using boffers. An excellent way to relieve stress. Also 'bop' (archaic).

boffers n. play weapons made from plastic pipes and foam insulation. Risley has a set available for use.  Also called 'boppers' (archaic).

Bohemian Kingdom proper n., archaic a term used to describe Risley, or a part of the Czech Republic.

Calendar of Events, the proper n. the weekly printed document detailing all the fun stuff to do in Risley. It is usually put out by the PA, and has included games, letters from RisAlum, and Hairwatch.

Campus Life proper n. the organization that evicts Risleyites from their homes during winter and summer recesses. Alternately called ResLife, depending on the whims of that organization.

charter, the proper n. the written body of law that dictates how Risley should be run. It was created back in 1970, and is one of the few written documents that Montana's Freemen consider legitimate.

CLR (pronounced "sea-el-are" or "slur") [<Central Living Room] proper n. the big room that faces the main entrance. The CLR is strategically positioned so that you can get the maximum annoyance from all people banging on the outside door to be let in. The proper response to these people is "Keys, carry your fucking!" (which would be pronounced "Keys, comma, carry your fucking!")

Colonel Food proper n. archaic alias of Lynette Fleckenstein, who ran Risley Dining for a stint immediately following Dr. Food. See also Foodette.

Cowcliffes [<Messrs. Bill Cowdery and Scott Sutcliffe, the proprietors of a breakfast service run in this room in ages past] proper n. The room to the left (East) of the CLR. It contains a long table, the doughnut machine, and the Game of the Gods. Also the name of the breakfast service of yesteryear.

Dr. Food proper n. Alias of Paul Seeber, the culinary avatar who ran Risley Dining until 1996.  The title was apparently passed down from the original Dr. Food, John Petrillose (RisDining manager 1988-1991).  He received the appellation because of his fondness for a short white coat of the kind typically worn by medical students.  This title was however not passed down to the current manager (see Foodette, Colonel Food)

donut machine, the [<the piece of furniture that produced better do(ugh)nuts than music. This coincidentally has a bit to do with the breakfasts taken in Cowcliffes] proper n. see doughnut machine, the. noone seems to be able to decide on a spelling.

doughnut machine, the [<the piece of furniture that produced better do(ugh)nuts than music. This coincidentally has a bit to do with the breakfasts taken in Cowcliffes] proper n. The painted sculpture in Cowcliffes that is cleverly disguised as a piano. However, it is officially classified by the charter as a non-piano, and any attempts to 'play' it have proved to be an effective means of torture. The one currently in the building is the second of such objet d’art, the original being destroyed by something called "Burning Piano."

Eat This! proper n. a weekly activity akin to feeding time at the shark tank. Wednesdays at 22:30, the RAs, PA, and RHD bring food to the CLR and check to see if they still have their fingers. Occasionally, there is a theme.

Eschervator [<M.C. Escher, a Dutch painter, and elevator] proper n. Risley's lift, which has mirrors on three of its walls. Rumor has it that Uncle Ezra has cameras behind the 'mirrors.'

Faculty Fellow proper n. a faculty member who is officially associated with Risley and who has an expense account and unlimited free meals to use for Risleyites. Some are very accessible, while others have the equivalent of InvisiRis status.

Foodette proper n. alias of Lynette Fleckenstein, who ran Risley Dining for a stint immediately following Dr. Food. See also Colonel Food.

Fred verb. [<unknown] If someone belches, they have to make a fist under their chin (with the axis of the fist perpendicular to the chin) and say "Fred". If someone else does this before the belcher does this, then everyone is allowed to hit the belcher until the belcher touches a round doorknob. This entire process is Fredding, and Rule 0 of the official Tammany Rules states that it can't occur after 23:00. (thanx to Matthew Belmonte for this def.)

Game of the Gods, the proper n. the round, furry, checkerboardy table that currently exists in Cowcliffes, and the game played upon it. The Game, as it is also called, is reportedly a combination of Dungeons & Dragons, diplomacy, and Physics.

Great Hall, the proper n. Risley's dining hall. It is a mirror image of the Christ Church Refectory at Oxford, and has statues displaying the 14 stages of botulism along its walls, which in no way is a comment on the food at RisDining.  Really.

grup n. archaic [<"Miri," the Star Trek episode that stars a Matt Ruff doppelgänger as the leader of a youth gang] a parent or other older relative of a Risleyite who has come to take them away from home.

guest suite n. either of the two suites reserved for the Guest Suite Artists. Room 125 is the upper guest suite, and room B12 is the lower guest suite.

Guest Suite Artist n. also known as the Artist in Residence, the GSA is an artist that is invited/applies to live in Risley. They will share their talents and ingenuity with you and your programs.

Hairwatch n. an occasional feature of the Calendar of Events that updates the Risley community on the recent hairstyle changes that have occurred in the dorm. Sometimes it is funny, but it is always more interesting than that David Hasselhoff show.

half corridor n., -and a half adj. the hallways on the fourth and third floors that are directly above the Great Hall that are a few steps above the rest of the level.

InvisiRis [also Inviso and InvisiRisleyan] n. who is this person? Did they move out, and forget to take the lonely name tag off their door? I think i saw them in our bathroom once... In other words, a person that 'lives' in Risley, but does not participate in any Risley programs. They are rarely seen, and their doors are always very undecorated and closed. Usually they move here because the building is close to the Arts Quad.

kisspering v. [<kissing and whispering] Like the derivation suggests, this is a quasi-PDA action that is is somewhere between kissing and whispering.  "Would you please stop kisspering in each other's ears?"

Kommittee proper n. the governing body of Risley. Kommittee allocates space-time and money for your programs. Anyone can introduce a proposal to Kommittee, and anyone can become a member of Kommittee (either by election, or by just showing up to three consecutive meetings). Meetings are Sundays at 21:00 in the CLR. Minutes are posted weekly outside the CLR on the Kommittee board, and all Risleyites should read them.

lost corridor n., -lost adj. Either of the hallways on the second or third floors that are above the VC and the Theatre. So called because they form sharp angles with the stairway, and are hard to find if one does not know where to look.

Louie's proper n. [<Louie's Lunch Truck] a grease distributor located across the street from Risley. It is on wheels, and moves sometimes. Not to be confused with Truck.

M8 (pronounced "mate" or "emm-ate") proper n. the room on the mezzanine with all the Legos in it.  It overlooks the rotunda, but throwing Legos at Rislivores waiting to get into RisDining  is a no-no.  Bad dog, no biscuit!

Mac proper n. a resident(?) of the wood and metal shop who is always willing to help you build things. Mac builds full suits of armor for fun, and is frequently found at SCA events.

Masquerave proper n. [<masquerade and rave] Risley's annual Hallowe'en bash.  Every year it has been associated with some sort of disaster, except the last one, but the locusts may still be on their way.  The rumours of penetration are still completely unfounded.

member n. A Risley member is someone who paid their activity fee to attend programs and/or use the shops.  They may or may not be residents. See also associate member.

monks' corridor proper n. the eastern corridor on the first floor that is inhabited solely by men.  Coincidentally, the building's only men's lavatory is located here. See also VC.

O.S.S. n. the initials carved all around the building. Margaret Olivia Slocum Sage gave $300,000 to have a building named after her mother-in-law, Prudence Risley, but the true purpose of these glyphs is far more sinister. The Office of Strategic Services was (is?) a U.S. intelligence service and propaganda disseminator created during early WWII. See also Uncle Ezra.

PA (pronounced "paw" or "pee-ay") n. [<Programming Assistant] the person who lives in the PA suite and practices creative accounting. The PA coordinates programming and gives you money for your programs.

Pool proper n. do Pool v. an eight foot diameter kiddie pool kept in the laundry room bathroom. People haul it out to the back courtyard late at night, fill it with warm water, take off their clothes, and sit in it. Pool happens throughout the year, even when there is a few feet of snow on the ground, although the water is always warm. This often leads to odd formations of melted snow in the courtyard the following morning.  Be sure to ask someone the rules of Pool.

procrasterbation n. a way to pass the time without actually doing work. Usually this has nothing to do with what you might think it might, but...

Prudence Risley proper n. our patron deity. The woman who so graciously lets the building use her name.

Prudence Risley Travelling Moonshine Orchestra proper n. Cornell University's only reasonably competent jug band.  Be sure to compliment them on the size and shape of their jugs.

RA (pronounced "are-ay" or "rah") n. [<Resident Advisor] the people who unlock doors, sometimes help run activities, and don't have to pay for their rooms in Risley.

RHD (also RCC or Rahood, both archaic) n. [<Residence Hall Director] The person paid by Campus Life to spy on Risleyites. However, David really spies on Campus Life for Risleyites, and still gets paid. In exchange we grudgingly tolerate his leopard-print pants.

RIP proper n. Risley Ice Hockey Program and Blood Donor group. An intra-mural sports team.

Risa n. archaic [<Risa Mish, former PA] a Rislimaniac who still manages to remain bubbly, cheerful, and energetic; even after a four hour Kommittee meeting.

RisAlum n. a former Risleyite. Usually, but not necessarily someone who graduated from Cornell as a Risley resident. Many return for the annual reading of Handel's Messiah and/or Spring Fair, and some never leave.

Risanthrope n. a xeno who is violently prejudiced against Risleyites, believing them to be a bunch of perverts and social rejects. While this stereotype is to a large extent true, it is still viewed by the community as a prejudice.

Risfit n. one who does not live in Risley but should, if only because they are too strange to live anywhere else. Most risfits who visit Risley and like it become Risloids.

risglossary proper n. the document that you are reading.  Traditionally, it is part of the big packet of schmutz that gets mailed to all Risley residents during the summer, but in recent years it has not been so.

RisLeaver n. a former Risleyite who has broken their association with Risley.

Risleazes n. Risleyites who exhibit their sometimes bizarre sexual practices in a very public (any very annoying) manner. This includes orgies in third lost or any sort of PDA, especially if it involves Rico Suave.

Risleech n. someone who comes to movie nights and Eat This! just to grab a handful of food, and then wanders away.

RisLegend n. a Risleyite of long ago who is still remembered in song and story.

Rislepers n. unwanted (and for the most part shunned) members of the Risley community. They tend to be referred to by the title "Citizen" followed by their last name: Citizen Helms could be an example. They are usually given Risleper status for actions (real or imagined) that are detrimental to the community.  Sometimes, but usually not, Risleper status is unwarranted and the result of ignorance.

Risleyan proper n. [<the (c.1987) student video of the same name, a parody of Aliens] either just a generic term for any Risley Resident or something close to Rislimaniac, but not what's in between. Who we are is not as important as what we plan to do.

Risleyist n. an outside supporter of Risley and its programs; usually someone who is concerned with the promotion of the arts. Unlike Risloids, Risleyists do not spend a great deal of free time here, if any. Some people associated with organizations like Alpha Phi, Seal and Serpent, and JAM can be considered Risleyists.

Risleyite proper n. a member (either resident or non-resident) of Risley. This can either be just a generic term, or, more archaically, means one who is socially visible or is involved in programs (although not necessarily to the extent of a Risleyan or Rislimaniac. Just wait, it gets more confusing...

Risley Mascot n. Originally, this was a local wanderlusted dog named 'Fat Dog.' Apparently, the humans at her other home call(ed) this beagle-like canid 'Freckles.' More contemporariliy, the Risley Mascot is/was Nat Stern, who now lives in JAM (i think).

Risley Recorder, the proper n. an irregularly published collection of the strange ramblings of Risleyites. This used to include the Calendar of Events, but for the past few years they have been two separate entities.

Risley rumour mill improper n. remember that interesting bit of info you told only one person, because if you didn't, you's just explode?  well, they only told one person, and they only told one more... and so it goes.  It's like a big game of operator, where the message gets more mangled with each telling (the RHD is Carmen Miranda?!).  Don't be a victim or a perpetraitor

Risley Theatre proper n.  Risley's very own, in building performance facility.  Yes, it really is spelled like that.

Risliar n. someone who faked a wonderful application so that they could live here. Risliars usually become InvisiRisleyans once they move in.

Ris-Life n. Risley's cleaning and maintenance staff.

Rislifer n. a Risleyite who spends their entire career at Cornell living in Risley. (note: a Risleyite who spends a semester away from Cornell but lives in Risley all the time they are physically in Ithaca can still be considered a Rislifer) Current examples of Rlslifers are Keith Gerretsen, Roman Koshykar, Michelle Houle, Rob Greene, Sarah MacCallum, and Sat Khalsa. [this definition courtesy of Russ Agdern  - ed.]

Rislimaniac n. someone involved in Risley programming to such an extent that they lose sleep or suffer nervous breakdowns. Examples of Rislimaniacs include staff and Kommittee members. Many Rislimaniacs are also RisVIPs, and a lot of these are destined to become RisLegends.

Risling n. an offspring of a Risleyite or RisAlum. If all the parents of a Risling are of current or former Risleyite status, then she or he is a purebred Risling.

Risliphile n. anyone who renews their contract to live in Risley another year. This term applies usually to people who stay on because they like the lifestyle, and not because the building is close to the Arts Quad.

Risliphite n. a frosh Risley resident. Those who aren't shocked by Pool during orientation week are usually the ones who become full-fledged Risliphiles. Regrettably, many Risliphites become Risleavers within the first couple of weeks.

Risliphobe n. a person who is afraid to set foot in the building for fear of being assimilated. This term usually applies to uninformed (or too well-informed) xenos, but it can apply to some residents, particularly those who have seen Pool as Frosh.

Rislirel n. someone in the immediate family of a Risleyite. This may or may not include Grups.

Rislivore n. someone who does not live in Risley, but eats in Risley Dining pretty regularly. Since these people are not eating here for the social contact with Risleyans, they are obviously here for the food alone.  See Dangerously Insane and/or vegan.

Rislocusts n. members of a Risliphite clique. So called because they have a tendency to move together in swarms around the building.

Risloid proper n. someone who might as well be a Risleyite, but who hasn't paid the activity fee. They may or may not keep their personal belongings elsewhere. The opposite of an InvisiRis.

Risloiterer n. RisAlums that still hang out in Risley, to the point that one would swear that they still live here. In some cases they do: making beds in the CLR, the practice rooms, or whomever's room in which they happen to pass out.  Some current risloiterers are Dan Adinolfi and Nessie Van Loan.

Risloner n. someone who has been forced to leave the building, usually for monetary or political reasons (see Uncle Ezra), but still maintains the spirit of the hall and visits whenever possible.

Rislouse n. someone who lives here and hates it. Rislice (hopefully) become RisLeavers.

RisOC (pron. "riz-ock") n. A Risley Orientation Counselor, a Risleyan who gets in the building early to assimilate the frosh. RisOCs are just like campus OCs, except they don't wear dorky red shirts or lift things.  They make those name tags for your doors.  Recent translations of ancient Risley scrolls reveals that these people used to be called "Risley Guides."

Ris-Quirer n. the current incarnation of the calendar of events.

RisRA (pron. "riz-rah") n. A Risley RA.

RisVIP (pron. "riz-vip") n. Also called a RisliVIP, this is a very important member of the Risley community, and one who provides services to Risley in some key manner. This term is generally used for those Risleyans with some sort of title: RisRAs, PA, RHD, Dr. Food, Kommittee Chair, Faculty Fellows, Ris-Life, etc.. Food delivery people have honorary RisVIP status.

rotunda n. the big round open area on the first floor that connects the Great Hall, the lower Guest Suite, the RHD's apartment, the stairs to the mezzanine and basement, Tammany, a kitchen, and the main hall.

SCA (pron. "ska" or "essie-ay") proper n. [<Society for Creative Anachronism] not to be confused with the form of music, the SCA is an organization that tries to preserve the better aspects of the Middle Ages. They hold meetings Tuesday evenings in the Great Hall, and beat each other up on the front courtyard each Sunday afternoon.

SCAdian (pron. "skay-dee-un") n. a member of the SCA.

scooper n. the people who serve frozen desserts and caffeinated beverages in Tammany. They get to eat for free during their short shifts, and are trusted to keep track of money. Be sure to ask one about the odd fact that Tammany consistently never makes a profit.

sneakret adj. [<sneaky and secret] like a secret, but more cloak-and-dagger-esque.  "Only i know this sneakret shortcut to RPU."

Spring Faire proper n. Risley's annual end-of-the-school-year bash.  It is held the day after Slope Day/the last day of classes, and provides free food and entertainment for the hangovered masses.

sub-basement, the proper n. the dungeon beneath the building. The area is condemned for anything except storage and the writing of graffiti. The sub-basement contains many very strange things, even what is rumored to be a crematorium. Risley Theatre storage is also down here.

Tammany proper n. the coffee house and frozen dessert parlor which is off of the rotunda. Tammany is open Friday and Saturday nights and sometimes offers live entertainment. Scoopers always eat free.

Theatre sub [<Risley Theatre sub-Kommittee] proper n. the body that governs Risley Theatre. Meetings are Sundays at 19:30.

tower proper n. the entire fifth, sixth, and seventh floors, and the two doubles near the stairs and behind the fire door in the center of the building on the fourth floor. There is no Eschervator service to the tower, but there is a 'secret' spiral staircase in one of the turrets...

True and Firm proverb yet another inscription to be found around the building. It is said to describe Prudence Risley, but we are not sure which part.

Truck proper n. [<Hot Truck] a west-campus grease distributor. not to be confused with Louie's, since Bob is in charge of this one (not that Louie is alive anymore, but whatever...)

The Truth Will Make You Free proverb Risley's motto, which once emblazoned Risley's coat of arms, but the crest was banned by Uncle Ezra because it looked too much like Cornelltm's logo. This phrase is not to be confused with "The truth is out there."

TV Room proper n. The room to the right and west of the CLR where Star Trek, The Simpsons, and The X-Files are watched.

Uncle Ezra proper n. is watching.

unka-tunk (also unka-tunka) adj. If A goes out with B, and B goes out with C, A and C are unka-tunk.  Some uses also are directional with respect to time. In this rarer usage, if A went out with B before B went out with C, then C is unka-tunk to A, but A is not unka-tunk to C. Also, the meaning of "goes out with" is very nebulous and variable.  Beware of unka-tunk 'trees.'

VC proper n. [<Virgin's Corridor] the corridor on the first floor that is inhabited solely by women.  Coincidentally, the building's only women's lavatory is located here. see also monk's corridor.

vegan n., adj. someone who does not consume any animal products: a stricter vegetarian. They exist in Risley to make any event with food very complicated.

W n? archaic an inside joke deriving from Kommittee and a former PA, Michael Moon. This is usually associated with a hand gesture. Ask a n old-school Rislimaniac to explain it to you, its a loooong story.

waga (pron. "wodge-uh" or "wog-guh") adj. [<a baby-talk version of "Roger," a friend of a Risleyite. The Risleyite would complain to and lament his romantic difficulties to Roger] impaired by unrequited love, unsatisfied lust, or general sexual frustration and/or limerence. There need not be a specific object of affection involved, and usually this is part of the problem.

wagga (pron. "wog-guh") adj. [<a misuse of waga] The state of being Yoni Mazuz, i.e. just generally dazed and confused.

"wink-wink" proper n. the secret shop. Ask on a more secure channel for more information.

xeno n. someone who isn't a Risleyite, RisAlum, or a Risloid. Be careful, they're everywhere.